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Core Lesson 4

Manipulate ~ Enable ~ Faith

Enable (verb) - to facilitate; to allow; to set into motion

Enabling is a learned behavior.  Healthy enabling occurs when raising and nurturing little ones in a home where a parent perceives the seasons to transition from training to teaching to guiding. Then they can step back to monitor or advise until their son or daughter leaves the nest. Yet, there are also homes where the unhealthy enabling evolves into a negative control or manipulation where healing and hope are hindered.  It is most common for parents to enable an offspring. However, spouses fall into a pattern of "parenting" their partner - siblings take on responsibilities of an adult brother or sister - grandparents attempt to rescue their grandchild from undesired consequences - and even friends are manipulated into "helping them through a rough patch. "  Again and again and . . . again.

Family members are often "taught"negative enabling

behaviors over a period of time by a loved one who strives 

to keep his addiction comfortable and uninterrupted.


Unhealthy enabling behaviors may include:

  • calling into work with lies that excuse absence

  • loaning money when you know you won't be paid back

  • avoiding confrontations about stealing or lying

  • bailing out of jail or vouching for him in court to "keep him     out of trouble"

  • providing daily needs (groceries, cel phone, transportation)


This type of "helping" makes it easier for our loved ones

to continue the in the progression of this disease. 

Enabling was a

difficult habit

for me



My son didn't think

he needed

help -

until I stopped


What is at the core of most enabling behaviors?

What role does faith play in battling addictions?  

Download the lesson

to read through a small

sample of enabling behaviors.

Then keep reading to consider steps of renewal

you can take against this insane obsession of enabling.