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Core Lesson 4
Manipulate ~ Enable ~ Faith
Enable (verb) - to facilitate; to allow; to set into motion
Enabling is a learned behavior. Healthy enabling occurs when raising and nurturing little ones in a home where a parent perceives the seasons to transition from training to teaching to guiding. Then they can step back to monitor or advise until their son or daughter leaves the nest. Yet, there are also homes where the unhealthy enabling evolves into a negative control or manipulation where healing and hope are hindered. It is most common for parents to enable an offspring. However, spouses fall into a pattern of "parenting" their partner - siblings take on responsibilities of an adult brother or sister - grandparents attempt to rescue their grandchild from undesired consequences - and even friends are manipulated into "helping them through a rough patch. " Again and again and . . . again.
Family members are often "taught"negative enabling
behaviors over a period of time by a loved one who strives
to keep his addiction comfortable and uninterrupted.
Unhealthy enabling behaviors may include:
calling into work with lies that excuse absence
loaning money when you know you won't be paid back
avoiding confrontations about stealing or lying
bailing out of jail or vouching for him in court to "keep him out of trouble"
providing daily needs (groceries, cel phone, transportation)
This type of "helping" makes it easier for our loved ones
to continue the in the progression of this disease.
Enabling was a
My son didn't think
until I stopped
What is at the core of most enabling behaviors?
What role does faith play in battling addictions?
Download the lesson
to read through a small
sample of enabling behaviors.
Then keep reading to consider steps of renewal
you can take against this insane obsession of enabling.